My Life...the candid version Part 6
So, if you're reading this, you've hung in through 5 parts of my life story. Thanks for hanging in with me! After I graduated from college and moved away from not only my hometown, but home state, I SLOWLY started my journey back to my Christian roots. As much as people that know me think I'm super outgoing and never shy...it sincerely overwhelms me to go places alone. Now, that doesn't include shopping and regular things, but going to a new church, starting a new job where I don't know anyone...totally overwhelming and intimidating experiences for me. For this reason, I really didn't start going to church again regularly until I moved to St. Pete, FL and I had my mom to go with me to try out a church. I met some people and began regularly attending church and a cool young adults program they had during the week. I also got involved in a ladies' Bible study. As I said in my "love story", my husband moved to St. Pete about a year after I did. At that time, I slowly faded back away from church because I wanted to spend all my time with him and he was raised Lutheran as opposed to my Baptist background. He was a little overwhelmed and didn't feel like he really fit with the church I was going to. We found a little church near our house and went there for a while until we moved.
Once we moved to Jacksonville, FL...to be closer to my mom...we started going to the church she was going to. I really fell in love with the church...all of it...the people, pastor, etc. A couple of years after we moved, I got pregnant with our daughter right after my mom's return from her mission trip to Africa. After she was born, my mom blessed us by watching her for the first 9 months after I had to return to work, but after that, my mom's health started to deteriorate even more. As a side note, I just have to say how amazing my child is! She has truly been an amazing person and astounds me almost daily with her beauty, sweetness, and intelligence all the while being a spunky, take crap from no one person! She definitely got the best of her daddy's and my genes!
My mom ended up with bladder cancer as a late effect of one of the drugs she had been on years previously to treat her Scleroderma and pulmonary hypertension. At this point, my mom was already considered a medical miracle, but it still took a toll on us as we struggled through yet another disease she had to battle. She had the tumor removed and went through some treatments only to have it return a year later. Due to her other diseases and the tumor, she had a bladder a small fraction of the size of a normal bladder that wasn't functioning anymore. She had her bladder completely removed and a lot of extra stuff to try and make sure it didn't return. Less than a year later, the cancer was back where her bladder had been and was also now in her liver. She started going through chemo treatments, but it was too much for her. About 2 months after her diagnosis, she ended up in the hospital because she couldn't even swallow water...another side effect of her Scleroderma had been that her esophagus muscles didn't work well. She had lost a significant amount of weight...and she was already little...and they tried to stretch her esophagus again. They found that there was nothing they could do. She had been acting strangely and we found in the hospital that she had encephalopathy...where your brain has something wrong with it...I know specific huh? She also had multiple seizures and from that point never spoke again. She ended up being discharged to hospice care and died a week after being admitted to the hospital. She was my best friend that I talked to, usually, multiple times a day and saw her multiple times a week. She was my daughters best friend. She was a lot of people's best friend and I learned how much she impacted others. I always knew my mom was amazing to me, but she was amazing to many people.
I struggled again with my faith after my mom died. As much as I was glad that she was no longer suffering, I had a hard time worshipping God, reading my Bible, and praying for almost a year afterward! Around a year and a half after she died, I was finally able to really open up and read devotions. Stay tuned for one last blog in this series that's just a wrap up.
Once we moved to Jacksonville, FL...to be closer to my mom...we started going to the church she was going to. I really fell in love with the church...all of it...the people, pastor, etc. A couple of years after we moved, I got pregnant with our daughter right after my mom's return from her mission trip to Africa. After she was born, my mom blessed us by watching her for the first 9 months after I had to return to work, but after that, my mom's health started to deteriorate even more. As a side note, I just have to say how amazing my child is! She has truly been an amazing person and astounds me almost daily with her beauty, sweetness, and intelligence all the while being a spunky, take crap from no one person! She definitely got the best of her daddy's and my genes!
My mom ended up with bladder cancer as a late effect of one of the drugs she had been on years previously to treat her Scleroderma and pulmonary hypertension. At this point, my mom was already considered a medical miracle, but it still took a toll on us as we struggled through yet another disease she had to battle. She had the tumor removed and went through some treatments only to have it return a year later. Due to her other diseases and the tumor, she had a bladder a small fraction of the size of a normal bladder that wasn't functioning anymore. She had her bladder completely removed and a lot of extra stuff to try and make sure it didn't return. Less than a year later, the cancer was back where her bladder had been and was also now in her liver. She started going through chemo treatments, but it was too much for her. About 2 months after her diagnosis, she ended up in the hospital because she couldn't even swallow water...another side effect of her Scleroderma had been that her esophagus muscles didn't work well. She had lost a significant amount of weight...and she was already little...and they tried to stretch her esophagus again. They found that there was nothing they could do. She had been acting strangely and we found in the hospital that she had encephalopathy...where your brain has something wrong with it...I know specific huh? She also had multiple seizures and from that point never spoke again. She ended up being discharged to hospice care and died a week after being admitted to the hospital. She was my best friend that I talked to, usually, multiple times a day and saw her multiple times a week. She was my daughters best friend. She was a lot of people's best friend and I learned how much she impacted others. I always knew my mom was amazing to me, but she was amazing to many people.
I struggled again with my faith after my mom died. As much as I was glad that she was no longer suffering, I had a hard time worshipping God, reading my Bible, and praying for almost a year afterward! Around a year and a half after she died, I was finally able to really open up and read devotions. Stay tuned for one last blog in this series that's just a wrap up.
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