My Crazy, Beautiful Life

Ok, so I have to get something off my chest.   I grew up in a relatively poor family…though I never knew I was poor.   I remember my parents working and going to school and my mom sometimes worked more than one job.   Nothing we ever had was given to us.   I grew up and went to college, got a job, and moved out on my own...nothing was ever handed to me and I’ve had to work for everything I have.   I am certainly not saying I’ve never needed financial help because I have, but I’ve always tried as hard as I can to do things on my own and not have to ask for help.   If I’ve ever had to get help, I’ve tried to pay it back in one way or another.   Since I’ve been married, Matt and I both work for what we have and haven’t been given anything.   We’ve had some help from our parents from time to time at the beginning when there have been some situations beyond our control, but we’ve always worked and made sure we could do what we needed for ourselves.   Neither of us would ever think to go ask

I recently read an article that made me feel beyond better about myself!   I am one of those people that are very hard on themselves.   I lose my temper and feel bad for days about it and it can even come back to haunt me weeks later.   I question my decisions frequently and almost constantly when it comes to Anabeth.   I see and hear these moms say how much they just love their child and how much they love spending as much time with them as possible and it causes me almost physical pain sometimes to hear.   I can only think about times I’ve wanted a break from Anabeth.   Please know I love my child more than my own life, but there are times she can just make me crazy and those that know me know I don’t need help with that lol!   My child is honestly the most precious thing on the entire planet to me along with my husband, but there are times that I honestly just want to get in the car and leave ALONE.   I need time with friends or just by myself to recharge and appreciate what I have