My Mom's Journey

It all began on March 21, 1955 when my mom was born the baby of her family. She taught herself to play the piano and organ so she could get involved with church at a young age. Around the age of 17 she married my dad and at age 18, she took in 3 of my cousins to raise so they wouldn't be separated in foster care. She had my brother soon after and then me 5 years after my brother. My mom worked 2 jobs often to make sure we were all taken care of. She never considered any of this a sacrifice, only what needed to be done! She worked for various doctors' offices over the years and when I was in elementary school, she decided to go to college. She worked the whole time she was in school making sure we had everything we needed! I remember my dad and her taking a trip to Mexico to teach and my brother and I stayed with my grandparents. That was the kind of experience my mom lived for. She always wanted to be a missionary and her only mistake was not realizing you can be a missionary wherever you are! She always believed she had to go to other countries. When she was 37 years old, she was diagnosed with Scleroderma and told she had 10 years at the most to live and wouldn't live to see me graduate from high school. 10 years later, she's told it's in her lungs and she then had pulmonary fibrosis and pulmonary hypertension and wouldn't live 4 more years. Meanwhile, I've graduated from high school and went to college. My mom decided while I was in college to go back to school for a masters in education and wins a principal fellowship. We graduated the same day...me with my bachelors and her with her masters. I've never felt so proud! Soon after, she moves to Florida to be near Mayo since she needs a double lung transplant and they're the only hospital that would consider her with her other health conditions. Backing up just a little...while I was in college, she had to have a hip replacement. Medications she was on for her health problems caused avascular necrosis in her hips. She also either while I was in college or shortly after  had to have a procedure to "fix" her reflux. A few years after she moved to Florida, I followed to be closer to her. She continued to have problems with reflux and swallowing and had to have multiple procedures to stretch her esophagus to prevent choking. In 2007, she gets the chance of her life to go to Africa for 6 months and use her master's degree to help a missionary school. While there, she started some small group Bible studies with women when she could and ministered to countless people just with her love for them and Jesus! She came home half way through and said she really didn't feel there was anything left for her to do there...and I got pregnant with her grandchild! In December, she meets her granddaughter and discovers a love she never imagined! I can say with a good deal of certainty, I've never seen anyone love anyone like she loved Anabeth! I thought I knew love by seeing how much I know she loved me and my brother, but nothing compared to that baby girl! In 2009, we find mom has bladder cancer. Apparently, cytoxan...a drug she was on to treat her other illnesses years ago...causes bladder cancer. The surgeon got the tumor out and she endured BCG treatments that were horrific and she wasn't able to do them all. In November 2010, my mom almost died in Charlotte, NC from sepsis. We didn't realize at the time we were about to find she has bladder cancer again only her bladder was now a quarter the size of a normal bladder and the tumor was causing infections. With her bladder basically nonfunctioning, they decided it was best to remove it and create a new bladder. This worked out very well for her and her quality of life improved dramatically. She was back to being able to play with Anabeth and having fun! Less than a year goes by and she starts having excruciating pain that begins to affect her daily life. It only takes a couple months and the pain is debilitating to the point of being home-bound and not able to take care of herself. We discover the cancer has returned and now has spread to her liver. I felt like someone had punched me and sucked the air out of my body! A couple months and some tests later and it's time to start chemo treatments. She decided on the most aggressive regimen knowing we could back off if it was too much. The first treatment took her out. She couldn't remember things, she was sick for days, and wasn't acting like herself! We skipped the second treatment and started over a couple weeks later with a less aggressive regimen. She seemed to do great without getting sick and not really having any of the side effects. However, Sunday after her treatment, we discovered she had lost 6 pounds since Wednesday and she wasn't able to swallow even water. She gets to the hospital and though she was weak, we thought they'd be able to get her back to where she could eat. By Monday night, I could tell she wasn't coming out of it. She had 3 seizures and after that never spoke again other than Tuesday saying Macy's name (her dog). Tuesday night was the beginning of the toughest decisions I've ever made, but thankfully God had my brother and Randy (my other brother) right by my side to support me! We had to decline ventilation and on Wednesday I had to sign a DNR form and we took her home with hospice care. She was strong and fighting until the very end, but finally at 11:55 on Saturday night, God decided it was time for her to rest and no longer be in pain or have to fight! My mom taught school for years, but her biggest joy was the last few years when she'd been teaching her ladies life group! They became her second family and they shared in her joys and heartaches! Many of them were there for my wedding, the birth of my child, and then my mom's memorial service. I have had a lot of people telling me how strong I've been, but please know that if it weren't for my mom, I'd have no strength. My mom didn't directly give me my strength, but she taught me about the only One that can give strength in the midst of the weakest, darkest times you'll ever see and that's Jesus Christ! I've never been a teacher or preacher and I've never been good at sharing my faith, but please know if you learn anything from my pain and my mom's life, she'd want you and I'd want you to meet Jesus! If you don't believe or if you don't know, read some of the Bible. There are many great translations and also, there is a great pastoral staff at Fort Caroline Baptist Church or members of the church that would love to help you know more. I'll even be happy to talk to anyone that would like to hear more...I am no Bible scholar, but I know there has to be a Jesus because without Him, I'd never have made it through my life without falling apart! You read this story and see it's not going to be easy, but God promises to help you through the valleys and comfort you in your grief! He surrounds you with angels and sometimes those angels are disguised as family and friends! Sorry for the long post, but I just wanted to get this out! Love to you all!