My Crazy, Beautiful Life

I know I just posted an entry and it was already about Anabeth's birthday, but I'd like to do another going into detail about her birth day. I had a relatively easy pregnancy, but for the last 4 weeks or so, I had contractions every day that would get minutes apart and then stop. I went to the doctor a few times to be told nothing is happening and went to the hospital once. Finally 4 days after my Christmas due date on December 29th, I was going to be induced. I was told to call at 5:30 or 6 in the morning and they'd let me know when to come in. As you'd likely expect, I didn't sleep much at all in anticipation of having a baby and when I called, they told me to come right in. We arrived around 6:30 I believe and between 7 and 7:30 they'd started the pitocin. The contractions got more and more intense and I was progressing very well. About 11 hours later, I made it to 7 cm and stayed there for 3 hours. The nurse came back in after the 3rd check and told me I was...

So, it's been quite a while since I've done a blog entry, but felt compelled with Anabeth's 3rd birthday to reflect. It's so hard to believe that she's 3 now and come from the top picture to the bottom picture! Even harder to believe is how much I love that little girl! She has sincerely taken me through more emotions than I ever knew possible and taken my heart out of my body! So, at this time 3 years ago, Matt and I had only been parents for 12 and 1/2 hours. It was still quite a surreal thing for me to be a mom and I was still very unsure of what to do. I have to say that the unsure part doesn't seem to ever go away, but I am more confident in my parenting ability today than 3 years ago! I must be doing something right to have such a beautiful, sweet, and smart girl. Granted she can give Matt and I a hard time, but she is a great kid overall and most people have still never seen her bad side. So her birthday went a little like this... She went to school as...

72 hours can seem so long or like a second flashed by.  For me, 72 hours starting Saturday morning were like a snail going on the Appalachain trail!  Saturday morning Anabeth woke up with a fever between 101 and 102.  I gave her some Ibuprofen and she got better.  I went to church for a thing called "Mix It Up" and then went home and got some lunch.  Anabeth took a nap and her temperature started to go up again slowly and she wasn't herself.  Matt went to the store to get some things for dinner since we weren't going to be able to leave and while he was gone, she tells me she has to throw up.  Well, she ends up getting sick 4 or 5 times Saturday night/early Sunday morning and her temperature creeps back up to over 102.  With her vomiting, I wasn't going to give her any medicine.  When I woke up Sunday, her temperature seemed basically gone and she seemed much better.  I left for church and after class, Matt sends me a message that she g...

I decided to do some reflection on my life.  It's so easy to throw myself a pity party and say that things are so bad, but in reality, I don't know what I'd do if my life were much better.  The thing is, there will always be something to complain about and room for improvement, but a lot of the time, I need improvement and just want to blame others!  On to the positive...       In August 8 years ago, I moved to Richmond, VA and started my first job out of college.  It was a little scary moving somewhere and not having family around because I grew up very close to all of my family and had never been more than 2 hours away from my mom.  I was always adventurous though and was ready to start a new chapter.  Within the first few weeks of starting my new job I met a guy named "Andrew Stevens".  I'm really not sure how someone confuses Matt Andrews with Andrew Stevens, but nonetheless, that's how I was introduced to him.  In my jo...

So my hubby brought to my attention that I haven’t done anything recently with my blog.   I’ve been trying to come up with something light-hearted and not so serious.   As most of you know, I’ve been living as a single parent for most of the past 7 or 8 months.   My child has sort of taken this like a roller coaster ride and still isn’t sure some days what to think.   Mommy enjoyed being the one that only had to be mean on rare occasions and now mommy has to be mean more often.   Mimi has also taken up the responsibility of being “mean” and Anabeth is even more unsure of that.   See, my child truly is a great child…most of the time.   She’s been at her school since January and in that time; they’ve yet to see her bad side.   Most of our friends and family don’t believe she has a bad side because she’s so well behaved in front of others.   While I appreciate that, I wish she would be more like that all the time!   She’s a little genius...

There's this woman I know that seems almost not human. From the time I can remember, she's worked at least 2 jobs and taken care of at least 2 kids. This woman didn't want 3 siblings to be separated, so she took them into her home at a young age with another child of her own and kept them. A few years later, she had another baby of her own and still loved them all and gave them all she had. Around the time I was in middle school, this woman found she had some health problems though it would be a few years before she would know the full extent. By the time I was in high school, she was told she wouldn't see me graduate. By that time she had scleroderma, pulmonary fibrosis, and raynaud's. Well, I graduated from high school with her in the audience. Through my high school years, she went through chemotherapy and prednisone treatments that reaked havoc on her body in more ways than she would realize for years to come. Still, she never complained about anything that was...

A friend's post on facebook today made me think.  I was never one of those little girls that dreamed of one day growing up to be a mommy.  In fact, as most of my family and friends will tell you, I said I never wanted kids.  I never babysat and really liked very few children!  One of the most precious things in my world now though is a little 2 1/2 year old girl named Anabeth.  As much as I never thought I wanted a child, I can't imagine my life without her in it!  She brings much joy and much anger sometimes within minutes of each other!  She is a very good, sweet child though for the most part and there's nothing better than a  hug and kiss and her telling me she loves me!  Those moments wipe away all the bad ones in one quick second!  She has also provided much entertainment for Matt and I over the past couple of years.  Watching her grow up at lightening speed has been bittersweet I have to admit because I miss my baby, but love...

A few minutes ago, I was putting my girl to bed.  She was trying to delay, so she had mommy read a story and then she read it to me. She finally decided I needed to lay down with her for a little bit so I obliged.  She tells me she needs her blanket and that I need it too.  Out of the blue she tells me, "my birthday is coming up."  I agreed and she told me "Emily's going to share my cake with me".  Then she looks at me and says, "Mommy, I have a cup and you don't have a cup...you're too big".  I thought it was pretty funny...probably partly due to my lack of sleep...but funny all the same so I start laughing.  She touches my mouth gently and said, "It's not funny mommy".  I try to stop laughing but can't so she says, "I said not funny mommy!".  Guess mommy was too rowdy so she asked for daddy to come lay down with her for a little bit.  That child is the most precious thing in the world and though she drives me abs...

So, I have to start off with a couple things.  First, I don't feel old enough to be writing a blog about kids because frankly I still often feel much younger than I am...not that I'm old.  Also, I am not proclaiming to have been an angel.  I felt compelled after an event yesterday to get this off my chest.  Anabeth and I are minding our own business driving home and we get into our neighborhood when I see 2 teenage girls riding their bikes.  One of them gets over to the side so I can get by, but the other one stays in the middle of the road.  I beeped my horn at her and she just turned around and laughed at me and very slowly got over so I could pass.  I pull into my driveway and walk to get my mail when they're riding by my house.  The girl starts screaming at me and laughing so I proceeded to tell her that I was glad she found it so funny that she was stupid and wanted to get herself killed.  Likely, she didn't hear what I said over her own...

I've been asked multiple times over my life if I have any regrets. I've said yes before and I've said no. I have rethought this question recently with the passing of a loved one and I realize I don't have any regrets. As the saying goes, hindsight is 20/20 and with that in mind, I truly believe that everything I've done...right or wrong...was what I was meant to do at the time. No, I've never been or thought I was close to perfect, but even my mistakes have molded who I am today. There are decisions I know I shouldn't have made at the time, but some of those decisions led me to my husband, which led to my beautiful child and others have led me to Florida where I'm close to some of my family. I have lived with some tough choices and I have cried over a lot of mistakes I've made, but I have learned that I have to get past these things. As long as I'm truly sorry, have learned a lesson, and asked for forgiveness, God has forgiven me and I have to fo...

It amazes me how silly things my child does can really make me think about things. My mom planted a flower bed last week and put a fountain in it. The fountain has a large "basin" where the water collects. After church Sunday, we went to Mimi's house and she gave Anabeth a cabbage patch baby. After we ate lunch, some of the family went outside to help put up a shade. Anabeth decided to go with them and take her new baby. I saw Anabeth playing in the water...Mimi has a large beach ball type thing that connects to the hose and water comes out in multiple places...so when they asked if I'd seen my child, I said yes assuming that's what they were talking about. No, my child decided to take her baby by the feet, drop her into the "basin" of Mimi's fountain and tell her to swim. She proceeds to keep dunking her head first into the water over and over. This got me thinking about life. Since December, my life has been more of a roller coaster than normal and...

Let me start by saying I'm happily married and haven't ever thought of my marriage as bad. We have our issues like everyone, but we both love each other and don't question it. A few weeks ago, I got an invitation to join a Bible study. I'd really been wanting to get into one as I've been horrible about praying and reading my Bible. I was told this was a women's Bible study called "For Women Only". Awesome, I'm thinking, I can get to know some ladies at church and have a good time on Sunday evenings. Little did I know that in just 2 weeks of going to a Bible study my world could be so rocked! If you're one of those ladies that believes everything between and man and woman has to be exactly equal and you can do anything as good as or better than your husband...you may not want to read on. To be honest though, I was that exact lady just 2 weeks ago! The problem is, it's not about whether or not we can do things as well as or better than our h...

Life is full of adventures and I've found the best adventures and memories come often from unexpected events. Last night sparked my thinking about some adventures I've had. One adventure that wasn't exactly fun, but I can look back and laugh at now was when I was in college. I had parked to go to class and when I came out, my car was gone. I searched thinking I had forgotten where I parked, but came to the realization my car had been towed. Fortunately it was a terribly long walk to where I worked at the time. I walk there and call the police station to get my thoughts confirmed and they tell me where I can find my car. In the meantime, it starts raining. I have to walk a good distance to class in the rain with my umbrella in my car. My best friend comes to pick me up and we try to locate this place to no avail and I end up having to wait until the next day to get my car. The most frustrating part is someone had JUST left the spot I parked in and apparently it was suppose ...

Well, if I haven't already said this, I love music! I can find a perfect song for any time in my life. I do go through times where I don't want to listen to music, but the love is always there! A newer song that I really love now is "On and On" by Chasen. The chorus is: :"Some say we need a miracle; Some say there's no hope at all; But I know that Your love is strong, it goes on and on; and on and on; Rise up when it gets us down; It'll be the voice in a blaring crowd; Because we know Your love will lead us home; it goes on and on and on and on..." I have to say that I relate to this on SO many levels! I have people I sometimes say I don't think there's any hope for them aside from a miracle. For myself, I try to push through and try my best not to complain. Obviously I'm not close to perfect, but I really do make an effort to just think of the positive in things. I recently found myself in a situation that left me realizing I hadn't ...

Since Matt's been out of town this week, I've had time for reflection. Each morning Anabeth has asked where her daddy is and everyday when I pick her up she says, "I go home see daddy". I have to remind her that he's not home and is out of town for work. She thinks "daddy go bye bye on airplane?" To say I love this girl is a vast understatement, but that's not the point of this blog. With matt being gone, I've been reminded how much Anabeth loves her daddy. He always says that he's chop liver and she never wants him, but I have been reminded of the past couple of years. From the time she was born, she's been watching football with her daddy. He would hold her in his lap and eventually she's become able to sit beside him and watch. Some of her first words were touchdown and tackle. Before she was 2 she knew the difference. We even DVRd a game because she LOVES football. I believe this is in part because it's a special time with her...

I started to just call this human garbage disposal, but didn't think that was nice to compare my child to. After a little research, I found that there are 3 animals that have to eat pretty much constantly. These are the hummingbird, koala, and blue whale. I'm going to call Anabeth a koala. She's too big to be a hummingbird and hopefully she's not going to make it to blue whale size anytime soon! Let me explain why this even came about. My child literally will eat constantly if you let her. Yesterday, she ate breakfast, morning snack, lunch, and afternoon snack at school. I picked her up and we went to Mimi's to take her grocery shopping and get dinner. In the car, she had 2 crackers my mom brought and some water. We went to Publix and there, they offer a free cookie to any child under 12 years old. She got her chocolate chip cookie and ate that. As we're going through the store, she's pointing at multiple things she'd like and we finally pick up some ra...

Hello all. For those of you that know me, you know that height isn't my better quality. Instead of thinking of myself as short though, I heard someone once say "vertically challenged". If you are like me, you can sympathize with my hatred for buying clothes other than shirts. Recently, I was ordering pants online thinking that I would finally be able to find a pair that I wouldn't need altered. I was wrong. I was at a certain online store...had to stay within a certain budget while getting the type of pants I wanted...and they sell extra short, regular, and extra long. Sweet, I'm thinking I've finally found a place to buy pants. I order my size and didn't exactly pay attention to the inseam other than it said extra short. I got this pair of pants in the mail earlier this week and can I say that I'm not a midget?!? These "extra short" pants are still crazy long! I even double checked the tag to make sure they hadn't sent the wrong size/len...

I have to start by saying that my life has honestly been a good life and I've been happy most of it. I have struggled, however, with anger off and on. Yes, I have a temper, but this is not what I'm talking about. I mean being angry at a person for doing something to me or someone I love. As I said in my first post, I was born and raised in a Christian home. Even with my upbringing, I haven't always dealt with things in a healthy manner and I went through a phase of not going to church unless I was at home and didn't want to go to church. I have been "back on track" for a few years now and it's been great! I'm still struggling though and so I've been praying about how to handle my feelings. I'm starting to think that God has been sending me a message because almost daily I hear this song "7 x 70" by Chris August. It's a great song that anyone with problems could probably get comfort in. The chorus says this, "Seven times seven...

 If any of you watch The Mentalist, then you'll get where the title came from. In last week's episode, he told the nurses to scream and it would make them feel better! I think if I could have found a place where no one would have been disturbed, I would have tried it quite a few times lately! I have to say that the past few months have truly been hard for me. Starting in December, my mom ended up in a North Carolina hospital and almost died. In January, we found that her bladder cancer had returned and she had a basically nonfunctioning bladder and it had to be removed. This is scary enough in itself, but as I've mentioned, my mom has a wealth of health problems that added even more concern. With her lung problems, the concern for not being able to get off the ventilator after surgery, etc. Not long after this appointment, she ended up in the hospital here in Jacksonville very sick again, but not as close to death's door as before. Finally the day for her surgery arri...

My pastor was talking to my brother and I a couple of weeks ago. He was going to be speaking to the youth group at our church about parents. He said children go through three phases with their parents...they idolize them, demonize them, and finally humanize them. I had honestly never thought of this, but it did make me think. Though I've sometimes disagreed with my mom, I don't believe I've ever demonized her or humanized her. I sincerely have never known anyone like her, so I can't compare her to anyone else. She has definitely been my inspiration for a lot and a huge encouragement through my life, but she also has taught me the most important things you can't learn in school or anywhere else...how to love, sacrifice, give, and keep faith! As I mentioned in my background post, I was born into a house with 4 kids. My mom worked 2 jobs often and made sure that most of all, my 3 cousins were never separated. That's sacrifice! She continued with her sacrificing wh...

I hope I don't offend any of my family members who may read this, but aside from God, I have three main people that are my world. Mainly, this comes from being physically close and therefore being able to spend more time together. These three people are Matt, Anabeth, and my mom. I will admit that I am working daily on making sure I put Matt first because I think as any parent knows, it can be hard sometimes to not put your child(ren) first. I mean, especially when they're these sweet, precious little people...not when they're teenagers : ) All that said, I absolutely treasure the time I get to spend with these three wonderful people! Anabeth absolutely loves her Mimi and loves going to her house. She has a slide in the back yard for her and my brother and sister-in-law got her a cleaning cart for Christmas. No, not being mean or as a joke...my kid is a clean freak and does not like anything dirty or messy!!! It was sincerely one of her favorite gifts! She loves to take her...

As the title suggests, Anabeth has picked up her version of "Oh Crap" from me. I decided since the past few months have been pretty rough, I wanted to focus on the good things that have happened and in turn, hopefully start to move on from the bad. In December, mom ended up in the hospital in Charlotte, NC and that was crazy hard for me to be so far away. She didn't think she was that sick, but in fact had almost died and had sepsis. The awesome thing that came from that was her sisters coming together and having some much needed time to catch up and get to see each other. Later, we discover her bladder cancer returned and a lot of other things were going on, so she ended up back in the hospital with another infection and finally a couple of weeks ago, surgery to fix all of this. Through this time though, my girl Anabeth has been keeping me in check. She's learning so much so fast, it's hard to keep up! She only turned 2 in December and she speaks in complete sent...

Hey all. For those that don't know me...and some that do...I thought I'd give you a little background of me. I was born and raised in New Bern, NC and came into the world 5 years after my brother David. For some reason, I've never been able to call him David, so he's "Brother". My parents had custody of 3 of my cousins when I was born and so my mom had a lot of help. I was fortunate to grow up in a Christian home and went to church from birth. I have a very large family. My mom had 6 siblings and now has 5. My dad had 4 and now has 3. I have over 20 cousins and my family has always been close. When I was in middle school, my mom was diagnosed with Scleroderma. I can't remember how long after, she was diagnosed with Pulmonary Hypertension and Pulmonary Fibrosis. She wasn't suppose to live to see me graduate from high school. My parents divorced the year I graduated from college and life has been different. My mom moved to Florida to be on Mayo Clinic...