My Crazy, Beautiful Life

There's this woman I know that seems almost not human. From the time I can remember, she's worked at least 2 jobs and taken care of at least 2 kids. This woman didn't want 3 siblings to be separated, so she took them into her home at a young age with another child of her own and kept them. A few years later, she had another baby of her own and still loved them all and gave them all she had. Around the time I was in middle school, this woman found she had some health problems though it would be a few years before she would know the full extent. By the time I was in high school, she was told she wouldn't see me graduate. By that time she had scleroderma, pulmonary fibrosis, and raynaud's. Well, I graduated from high school with her in the audience. Through my high school years, she went through chemotherapy and prednisone treatments that reaked havoc on her body in more ways than she would realize for years to come. Still, she never complained about anything that was...

A friend's post on facebook today made me think.  I was never one of those little girls that dreamed of one day growing up to be a mommy.  In fact, as most of my family and friends will tell you, I said I never wanted kids.  I never babysat and really liked very few children!  One of the most precious things in my world now though is a little 2 1/2 year old girl named Anabeth.  As much as I never thought I wanted a child, I can't imagine my life without her in it!  She brings much joy and much anger sometimes within minutes of each other!  She is a very good, sweet child though for the most part and there's nothing better than a  hug and kiss and her telling me she loves me!  Those moments wipe away all the bad ones in one quick second!  She has also provided much entertainment for Matt and I over the past couple of years.  Watching her grow up at lightening speed has been bittersweet I have to admit because I miss my baby, but love...

A few minutes ago, I was putting my girl to bed.  She was trying to delay, so she had mommy read a story and then she read it to me. She finally decided I needed to lay down with her for a little bit so I obliged.  She tells me she needs her blanket and that I need it too.  Out of the blue she tells me, "my birthday is coming up."  I agreed and she told me "Emily's going to share my cake with me".  Then she looks at me and says, "Mommy, I have a cup and you don't have a cup...you're too big".  I thought it was pretty funny...probably partly due to my lack of sleep...but funny all the same so I start laughing.  She touches my mouth gently and said, "It's not funny mommy".  I try to stop laughing but can't so she says, "I said not funny mommy!".  Guess mommy was too rowdy so she asked for daddy to come lay down with her for a little bit.  That child is the most precious thing in the world and though she drives me abs...

So, I have to start off with a couple things.  First, I don't feel old enough to be writing a blog about kids because frankly I still often feel much younger than I am...not that I'm old.  Also, I am not proclaiming to have been an angel.  I felt compelled after an event yesterday to get this off my chest.  Anabeth and I are minding our own business driving home and we get into our neighborhood when I see 2 teenage girls riding their bikes.  One of them gets over to the side so I can get by, but the other one stays in the middle of the road.  I beeped my horn at her and she just turned around and laughed at me and very slowly got over so I could pass.  I pull into my driveway and walk to get my mail when they're riding by my house.  The girl starts screaming at me and laughing so I proceeded to tell her that I was glad she found it so funny that she was stupid and wanted to get herself killed.  Likely, she didn't hear what I said over her own...

I've been asked multiple times over my life if I have any regrets. I've said yes before and I've said no. I have rethought this question recently with the passing of a loved one and I realize I don't have any regrets. As the saying goes, hindsight is 20/20 and with that in mind, I truly believe that everything I've done...right or wrong...was what I was meant to do at the time. No, I've never been or thought I was close to perfect, but even my mistakes have molded who I am today. There are decisions I know I shouldn't have made at the time, but some of those decisions led me to my husband, which led to my beautiful child and others have led me to Florida where I'm close to some of my family. I have lived with some tough choices and I have cried over a lot of mistakes I've made, but I have learned that I have to get past these things. As long as I'm truly sorry, have learned a lesson, and asked for forgiveness, God has forgiven me and I have to fo...

It amazes me how silly things my child does can really make me think about things. My mom planted a flower bed last week and put a fountain in it. The fountain has a large "basin" where the water collects. After church Sunday, we went to Mimi's house and she gave Anabeth a cabbage patch baby. After we ate lunch, some of the family went outside to help put up a shade. Anabeth decided to go with them and take her new baby. I saw Anabeth playing in the water...Mimi has a large beach ball type thing that connects to the hose and water comes out in multiple places...so when they asked if I'd seen my child, I said yes assuming that's what they were talking about. No, my child decided to take her baby by the feet, drop her into the "basin" of Mimi's fountain and tell her to swim. She proceeds to keep dunking her head first into the water over and over. This got me thinking about life. Since December, my life has been more of a roller coaster than normal and...

Let me start by saying I'm happily married and haven't ever thought of my marriage as bad. We have our issues like everyone, but we both love each other and don't question it. A few weeks ago, I got an invitation to join a Bible study. I'd really been wanting to get into one as I've been horrible about praying and reading my Bible. I was told this was a women's Bible study called "For Women Only". Awesome, I'm thinking, I can get to know some ladies at church and have a good time on Sunday evenings. Little did I know that in just 2 weeks of going to a Bible study my world could be so rocked! If you're one of those ladies that believes everything between and man and woman has to be exactly equal and you can do anything as good as or better than your husband...you may not want to read on. To be honest though, I was that exact lady just 2 weeks ago! The problem is, it's not about whether or not we can do things as well as or better than our h...