My Crazy, Beautiful Life

So, it's been almost a month since my mom died, but even for a few months before that, life wasn't "normal"! She hadn't been able to go to church, to the store, anywhere really and was on a crazy high dose of pain meds. Since then, it's only gotten crazier! It has honestly been a big blur for me. I'm having a hard time remembering what day of the week it is often. For me, I'm left with mixed feelings of relief for her and an empty feeling for myself. My child has struggled with random spurts of crying and acting out along with potty accidents and my brother, Melissa, and I have been cleaning out mom's house. It seems Anabeth knowing it's OK for her to be sad and cry, is helping her deal with her feelings a little better. As for me, my emotions come out of nowhere it seems sometimes. It's strange going through someones life...especially without them there! I still am not able to look at pictures with my mom in them more than a glance. It doe...

It all began on March 21, 1955 when my mom was born the baby of her family. She taught herself to play the piano and organ so she could get involved with church at a young age. Around the age of 17 she married my dad and at age 18, she took in 3 of my cousins to raise so they wouldn't be separated in foster care. She had my brother soon after and then me 5 years after my brother. My mom worked 2 jobs often to make sure we were all taken care of. She never considered any of this a sacrifice, only what needed to be done! She worked for various doctors' offices over the years and when I was in elementary school, she decided to go to college. She worked the whole time she was in school making sure we had everything we needed! I remember my dad and her taking a trip to Mexico to teach and my brother and I stayed with my grandparents. That was the kind of experience my mom lived for. She always wanted to be a missionary and her only mistake was not realizing you can be a missionary w...